So, today I start working for myself having left Castle Group. Although I'm working for them since I'm redesigning their website!

Claire goes away this weekend. I'm going to have to spend 3 weeks without her. I know she's going away with a male friend, doing a mini tour of England then 10 days in Egypt but I trust her. She's always said he's only a friend.

The problems that seem to be coming up are between myself and Claire. Nothing I've done or said lately has made her say she still loves me. It's obvious she doesn't anymore. I just don't want to lose her but I'm going to.

Two days left of work. Doing very little at the moment.

Spent Saturday with Claire. Not much went on due to not being in the mood. Something she's putting down to her diet but given the way I've felt for the past week or so I'm not so sure. She's been colder, more distant lately.

My 4 month cycle is starting again. I feel like I'm losing her. It's like the spark has gone and everything is routine.

Not so sure if I have the ability to really make her happy anymore. Have to keep it going. Do what I can and wait and see.

I'm in love with someone who doesn't want to be with me anymore.

Sometimes don't write as much as I should here. Things things Claire have been so bad lately and I'm spending so much time with her, online with her or on the phone to her that I'm neglecting other parts (and people) of my life.

Having spend virtually an entire week with Claire with the Amsterdam trip, going back to Leeds, her coming to Scarborough things felt like they were going well. We did have a few problems but were able to talk them through and sort them out.

What worries me though is her problems with the family she's with. I feel a little helpless sometimes. I know what I want to do - Get her away from them and spend more time with her.

She's stopped telling me she loves me. She's lost the affection she once showed. No matter how many times I tell her I love her she doesn't reply with similar words.